Pagan's Toast


You may not all know this, but I was once married to Liz. For four wonderful years, we shared a house, lots of food, a couple of bicycles, and an ethernet cable connection to the web. Ours was not a conventional marriage - we called at a Boston marriage, in honor of the 19thC feminists who lived together in pairs, and who called their alliances Boston Marriages. Liz and I conceived of a system in which a friendship would be the main relationship in our lives. We wanted, in short, to destroy the entire heteronormative system. And our great collaborator in this micro-revolution, our comrade in storming the gates of the suburbs and tearing down the traditional family structure, was Alex. You might say he cultured our revolution. As we discussed strategy for bringing the patriarchy to its knees, Alex whipped up endless cups of tea, eggplant lasagnas and lovely light omelettes for us. Occasionally, he'd weigh in with an interesting idea, but mostly he let us rant away while he drew enigmatic mathematical equations across recycled papers.

And now today, Liz and Alex are marrying - and it's not a Boston marriage - it's a New Hampshire marriage. I suppose I should feel disappointed that our experiement failed - but instead I couldn't be happier. Alex and Liz are perfect for each other, and, in their own way, they keep the revolution alive.

Alex and Liz, you guys take the "norm" out of heteronormative. I love you!